Man oh man.....

....or not..... 

My friends, my mom had me fixed....... I hope you still love me now....  It didn't hurt at all, and you know what, thinking about it, all in all.... It was a GOOD IDEA!!!!!!

But let me start at the beginning. ;)
My mom thought it was about time to take me to the vet last week. I wasn't feeling particularly sick or so, but I did have this weird feeling of restlessness in the evenings. I sat around, panting and stressed, and I didn't know why I was feeling so terribly nervous all the time. So in order to think other thoughts, I started jumping on my mom's legs... and on my toys, and on furniture, and on arms... whatever came my way. I also peed on each and every tree, bush, branch, trash can and whatever I could get a hold of. It wasn't fun anymore, believe you me. 

So, I didn't feel well at all, and my wonderful mom saw it and since she loves me so much she took me to her favorite vet one morning and picked me up in the afternoon. That's all I remember about that, and I suppose that's goooood...

All I know is that my belly was itching afterward and that I wanted to get to it with my paws, tongue, and teeth. But that wasn't a good idea, or so my mom thought. So she did something unforgivable..... She put a really weird hat on me, boy, can you imagine how totally unmanly that felt!?!? First of all it was ugly, secondly it made me run into all kinds of things that weren't there before (furniture and door frames, especially), and thirdly... c'mooon... look at this picture of utter wretchedness and feel SORRY. NOW.

Anyway, that STUPID hat or whatever that was didn't last long and I thought "cool, done with that cr...p, yeah". But of course here comes the BUT: after my mom had found the hat in various places (including the storage room, under her bed, and in between lavender plants...) she had to take me to the vet again, this time because my belly was a bit sore from me and my teeth trying to get those itchy threads out. 

Horribly, instead of making me better immediately, the lady doctor then gave my mom this more-than-terrible surfer-boy dress. Two words describe it perfectly: ULTIMATE. HUMILIATION. 

Man, I hated being stuffed into that thaaang. :((( (I looked extremely cute in it, though, as I'm sure you'll have to admit. *Nooo, I'm not vain, just realistic.* 

But since I'm such a smart doggy, I had to wear that thaaang only for a few days, i.e., until I found out that they wouldn't squeeeeeze me into it when I wouldn't lick my neatly sewed-up wound. So I didn't do that anymore and they left me alone. Yey, I won! Or, as my auntie Brie would put it: *HAR*

Anyway, I'm totally relaxed in the evenings now, I don't pant anymore without knowing why, I don't want to pee on each and every branch and tree and trash can and plant I see outside anymore, I don't want to jump on my mom anymore (which she thought was cute, I just know it, but she didn't let me anyway...), so: 

I feel completely GREAT now! THANKS MOM!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!